Couples Counseling

Would You Like to Improve Your Relationship Or Marriage?

Do you feel unappreciated, undervalued or unheard and wish you could be acknowledged and validated by your significant other? Are you tired of facing the same old challenges, marriage problems and communication issues with your partner? Perhaps you have been hurt in past relationships, and now, you find yourself reacting to conflict with anger, sadness or fear. And, maybe you want help getting the tools and support you need to heal old wounds so you can address issues peacefully and productively. Are you finding that the challenges of having children, harmonizing parenting styles or suddenly having an empty nest are uncharted territory in your marriage, and you want help navigating the evolution of your relationship? Do you wish you could find peace with your partner, rekindle the love you once had and begin enjoying each other once again?

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Most Relationships Inevitably Face Some Challenges

No matter how dedicated you are to your marriage or partnership, chances are you’ve run into at least some obstacles. Painful past relationships, flawed examples of love set by parents or guardians and the unrealistic depictions of seamless marriages we see in pop culture can all contribute to difficult relationship issues. And, try as you may, overcoming these challenges can be extremely difficult on your own. You may even feel like you’re the only ones struggling with distance or tension, especially when other couples seem so happy and carefree.

If you are one of many couples trying unsuccessfully to repair your relationship on your own, you are not alone. It’s natural to feel powerless to make a change, particularly when confronted by the same conflicts and arguments that never seem to have a peaceful resolution. The truth is, relationships can be very challenging and outright frustrating sometimes—and making a marriage work takes a level of effort, awareness and dedication that most of us were never taught.

The good news is, with a skilled and compassionate couples therapist, you and your partner can improve communication skills, develop greater awareness of each other’s needs and still find peace and joy within your relationship.

Couples Counseling Can Enhance and Help Repair Almost Any Relationship

Couples therapy has a very high rate of success in transforming the way in which couples relate to and interact with one another. It gives you the space to find your voice, address unmet needs productively and cultivate a greater authenticity in your interactions. With the new tools, strategies and support I can offer, you and your partner can build a strong and enduring foundation for your happiness.

In a safe and confidential environment, free of blame or judgment, I’ll begin our sessions by meeting with you and your partner together. After our initial meeting, I will convene with you individually before we resume couples sessions. I do this to ensure that each person has the ability to speak candidly about their individual needs, concerns and goals for the therapeutic process without being censored by concern for their partner’s feelings.

During subsequent sessions, we’ll explore how conflict manifests in and affects your relationship on a daily basis. We’ll identify possible triggers, or “reactive buttons,” that may have developed through early childhood experiences or previous relationships and examine how they may be affecting your current relationship. We’ll explore challenges you may be having with childrearing or an empty nest and develop coping skills that can help you manage new experiences. Once we’ve identified the source of your conflict, we’ll work on developing ways to heal old emotional scars so that you can communicate effectively and calmly from a place of compassion and honesty. Working together as a team, you and your partner can learn to hear and accept each other’s needs and in time, begin to grow closer, heal old wounds and enjoy greater intimacy.

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All couples benefit differently from relationship therapy, which is why I employ multiples tools and methods in the healing process. For example, I might draw from Harville Hendrix’s Imago Therapy or the Gottman Method. Taking inspiration from Sue Johnson’s emotionally focused therapy (EFT) strategies, I can help you reframe distorted ideas about you, your partner and your relationship to deepen your connection, bringing more harmony into your relationship. I’ll also provide couples therapy exercises that trigger the “mirror neurons” in your brain—neurons that help interpret signals and emotional cues from your partner that, in turn, can help you generate greater empathy, compassion and emotional awareness.

Whatever approach I use, my goal is to help you discover the root of your interpersonal conflict and give you an actionable plan to break through unproductive behaviors and perceptions. Regardless of your situation, I’ll never take sides or assign blame, concentrating instead on making sure that you and your partner both feel validated and understood. Even if you are looking for a peaceful resolution to your marriage, I’ll offer you the insight and guidance needed to help you transition smoothly into the next stage of your relationship.

I know how difficult dealing with relationship problems can be. In my own personal experience, I have had to overcome limiting behavior patterns in order to improve my relationship with my own husband. Our journey together has made our connection of nearly 40 years stronger than ever. I believe that you, too, can enjoy greater happiness, peace and emotional intimacy with your spouse or partner.

I am considering couples counseling, but I still have some concerns…

How do I know that you are the right therapist for us?

With my help, hundreds of couples have learned to break self-defeating patterns to find true happiness. Some couples had lost the passion they once had, and some were on the verge of divorce. But, with support and guidance, they learned to work together, express their true selves and truly share their lives.

Even single individuals, who were worried they might not ever find someone special, were able to heal past wounds and find a relationship that exceeded their expectations for love. The important thing is not to give up on yourself or your partner. By dedicating your time and energy to repairing your partnership in a productive manner, you can enjoy lasting change.

What if my partner doesn’t want to participate?

Therapy can benefit you even if your spouse or significant other doesn’t want to join you. I know it seems counter-intuitive, but it’s true. Simple changes in the way you regard yourself, your partner or your relationship can generate greater self-awareness and open up new pathways to intimacy. Learning to identify and manage triggers and automatic emotional responses can lead to better communication and help restore the friendship you once had.

Can therapy for couples really work?

Whether you are married, dating or a single person navigating the jungle of dating sites and potential partners, you are visiting this site because you are likely unhappy with the way things are. You may even doubt that your situation can ever change.

However, at this point, you have three options. You can either settle for the way things are, keep trying to change things on your own or ask for the help of a trained and impartial professional. Option three offers the tools and support you need to make a lasting difference in your relationship.

Truthfully, life is too short to settle for good enough. Counseling for couples really can give you the awareness, education and power you need to make a difference in your quality of life. I understand that it can be scary reaching out for help, but don’t you owe it to yourself to find true happiness?

You Can Improve and Repair Your Relationship

If you are struggling with problems in your relationship or marriage, help is available. Please call 805 374 1770 or email me at to see how my approach to couples counseling can help you and your partner enjoy greater intimacy in your relationship.